Once upon a time, a very bored and depressed teenager was staring at the walls in her bedroom 
when she remembered that she had bought a guitar six months previously. 
So she picked it up and started to play.
Oh dear. 
She was awful.
A year later, after much Prozac and unhinged psychiatrists, she was quite good.
So she got in touch with another psychotic friend and forced her to learn too.
So begins the amazing story of The Chugging Crunts.....



Lucy
Lucy plays guitar and writes a lot of the lyrics. 
I'm currently trying to force persuade her to become the main singer as well,
but I'm not having much luck. Lucy likes Victoria Wood and Bad Girls for various reasons...
She has also been quoted as saying that "energy turbines scare the b'Jaysus out of me!".
Influences: Travis, Stereophonics, Catatonia, Boyzone (yes, Boyzone), TV, Victoria Wood...
Height: 5'5"
Shoe size: 8 (really? Bloody hell!)
Phobias: Energy turbines, spiders, the word 'sponge'
Hates: Skinny bitches, The Prophecier




Sam
Sam plays drums... kind of. She’s also learning the guitar. 
Of the three Crunts, Sam is easily the most political, 
and is adamant that one day the workers of Southport will unite and overthrow the 
evil bosses at the Chewits factory...heheheh. 
Sam writes disturbing lyrics occasionally, that is when she isn’t doing disturbing artwork for the sleeve of the Crunts’ next album. 
Sam takes lots of vitamin pills and is making a picture with her Prozac.
Influences: Pulp, Bob Dylan, The small chap who lives in her head, Margaret Thatcher, the guy who told her to polish the guns. 
Height: about 3'2", which is useful for crawling around the ventilation system in Parliament liberally scattering anthrax.
Shoe size: 5
Phobias: Margaret Thatcher 
Hates: Margaret Thatcher, Tony Blair, David Blunkett (but not his dog)




Julia
Julia was the first Crunt to learn guitar. She's also the oldest and best in every way.
And yes, she is writing this biography. Julia is 17, has been diagnosed with many things and is proud of them all. 
Julia writes quite a lot of the music and does arrangements and stuff, but she's crap at words.
Influences: Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, KoRn, Cream, Steps, AC/DC, JSBX,
The Jam, RATM, Green Day, RHCP, Rammstein, Muse, Radiohead
Height: 5'7"
Shoe size: 6 & 7, depending on which foot you mean
Phobias: Standing on slugs, food poisoning, peaches, taxis
Hates: My parents, discrimination, college, politics






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